On overcoming perfectionist thinking:
I know that I enjoy making things and when I’ve made something good I’m so proud of myself. But trying to get into that and forcing myself to do it is kind of like a chore. I don’t want things I love doing to be a chore.
Jared: ‘How do you deal with that?’
I don’t. I’m still learning
In this episode of the podcast I spoke to graphic designer, Ella Seviour, and showcased and talked her through my rather unimpressive Creative Connection Logo ideas. Fortunately, as an actual graphic designer, Ella was able to steer me away from some of these shoddy drawings, whilst still encapsulating some of the core ideas and develop the logo we have today.
As I’m writing these posts 4 years after the first season, I’m coming at the whole project with rose tinted glasses. However, I recall loving this episode of the podcast especially, and I feel the same on the re-listen. It’s been great to talk about everyone’s creative processes each episode, but this episode is different. Ella and I started the creative process of the logo design mid episode. It was no longer a hypothetical process but a very real one. We went through ideas and mock ups and bounced back and forth and then Ella went away and presented me with the artwork which I still adore to this day. There was something especially exciting to me about starting this in an episode and then launching the podcast with this piece of art ready to go.
One of the biggest take aways from me in the conversation was how Ella struggled with wanting everything to be perfect and how that could stop her from starting projects. This is something that I’ve felt a lot. That fear of failure. It’s been 4 years since I released season 1 of Creative Connection, part of that is fear of not being able to step up from that season, another part is directly related to how I deemed the success. I had built the project up in my head so much that by the time I released it could never reach that expectation. Naturally when it did release I felt a strange mixture of proud I did it but disappointed it didn’t find much of an audience.
Ella: I struggle with a balance of thinking ‘I’m really good at this, I can do this’ and being a perfectionist in that I’m never going to be as good as I think I can be. Sometimes I don’t really even try. That’s something I’m trying to get over.
Jared: Is that a fear? Is the reason you’re not trying because you’re scared to fail? Or is it because you feel like there’s no point?
Ella: I think it’s the first and then as a coping mechanism I’m like ‘I don’t care anyway’. I feel like I’m a big worrier, sometimes I need to say ‘it’s okay, it doesn’t matter. No one’s going to judge you. It’s okay.
Jared: Has it effected you in a negative way? Or does it just exist inside you.
Ella: It does effect me. I know that I enjoy making things and when I’ve made something good I’m so proud of myself. But trying to get into that and forcing myself to do it is kind of like a chore. I don’t want things I love doing to be a chore.
Jared: How do you deal with that?
Ella: I don’t. I’m still learning.
I love this extract from the episodes here. It’s so raw, honest and real. It can be really tricky to start something when you’re not sure you can deliver. It can feel pointless or just daunting. I like the stepback where Ella reminds herself that no one’s going to judge you and you’re doing it to make you happy. But I also love the honesty that she doesn’t have the answer. I think it’s a great lesson for everyone, we all have things that get in the way or make us worried and that’s okay. If you can get past it once that’s great. If you can’t then so what. We’re all still learning. Every-time. Let’s just take small baby steps and see where we end up.
Listen to the episode to hear us start the creative process to design our logo, discuss creativity mindsets within the education system and whether being a perfectionist is an issue or not. Available on Google Podcast, Apple Podcasts & Spotify